Since I have been working on my inner self I have been doing a lot of thinking about what I look for in a man and relationship. This has not also came without trial and error. I've written a post before about plus size women and dating but this goes a little bit beyond that. My sister told me about a list she was told to write; about what she looks for in a mate including things that are an absolute must and some things that she prefers but isn't a deal breaker. I plan on writing one and you should right one too.
Being single this time I think will be a for a while. The things I accepted before I will no longer tolerate in my relationships. I was in what I thought was a great relationship from some years. Besides our three beautiful children there isn't much I can speak on now that was so great. I also had a on and off again "dating" or "messing around" type of relationship for a couple years also with a guy. In each relationship I was always scared to speak up for certain things because I didn't want to run them off. I always wanted that great relationship like everyone else but I compromised my happiness for all these years just to be single again.
When you are in an actual boyfriend/girlfriend relationship always stand up for yourself and BE YOURSELF. Don't get lost in his world only making him happy and not you. Any man that truly loves you will love your regardless of your faults and will meet you half way in every aspect of the relationship. Now there are men that do love their woman but don't appreciate her or show her the love she needs until its too late. That happens so many times. They do the bare minimum to keep you but not enough to keep you happy. When the female gets tired of it and move one now they're hurt. Now they want to prove to you what kind of man they can be but its to late.
If a man cant be that man you need in the beginning way waist your time. I'm not talking about you wanting a man to be rich but a man that is rich in LIFE. The man that is a homie, lover, friend and has all the goals and aspirations that you look for in a husband. If he doesn't meet you half way or he doesn't posses the qualities you have on your list then move on. You CAN NOT change a man into what you want him to be.
Also when you decide to simply "mess" with someone set some standards with that as well. There is nothing wrong with that type of relationship but set some boundaries. Let him know he can't treat you like a doormat. The guy I used to see swore we didn't have a booty call type of relationship but he treated it like one. He only called at night and never answered his calls or text. All the while he wanted me to believe we had something more. So that last time we spoke I went off on him. I didn't want to be a booty call and I wasn't going to be one. Needless to say the calls stopped coming after that conversation and I was happy they did.
I am no longer into changing men or settling for less than I deserve because I want a companion. There is someone for everyone and that will happen in due time. All that silliness I fell for before will never happen again. I'm even frowning while I'm typing (lol). I look back at how foolish I have been but it can't even say I was foolish. I was a girl in love with love and took any kind love that was given to me.
Stay strong ladies and know your worth. Your prince charming will be waiting for you at the right time. No need to waist any your time or life on a man that doesn't fit your life in the right way.
Like always I'm here for support or questions.
Peace & Love