Thursday, August 16, 2012

Relationship Sabotage...Are You Guilty????

Since I am newly single I am excited to go on a new journey of dating and hopefully finding "The One". This got me thinking about a time when I was so worried if a guy would like me even though I'm fat. What would I have to change or do to make him like me? Will I have to do something I don't want to do to keep him? and so on. Through my years of finding myself I can say I have grown on what I will accept as a mate and what I will do to please him without losing myself in the process.

I think it gets easier to date when you build confidence. Being confident with who you are will lead to how you will act in the dating world. Low self-esteem and confidence usually will land you in a unhappy relationship or alone. If you do things like avoiding social settings, introducing yourself to new people, dressing for the occasion or even turning men away that are interested, these are signs you need to work on your confidence and self-esteem and goes way beyond being shy.

Men can also see lack of confidence in a woman. I hear men saying there's nothing sexier than the confidence in a woman and when its lacking it's definitely a turn off. Why get in your own way when finding love. If you are confident in yourself the men will be confident in you too. So what you are fat, who cares??????? If a man truly love you, he will accept you for you and wouldn't want you to compromise who you are as a woman to make him happy. Embrace your body, be you and be fabulous.

It took me years to build the confidence I have and there isn't anything or anyone that can break it. I have not met a man that didn't love how confident I was. My motto is "I can get in line with the best of them." Being over weight has no limitations. I was the largest one in my dance group back in college but my weight never stopped me from learning and performing almost every dance.

Don't get in your way of finding love. How can a man love you if you don't love yourself. Confidence is key. It may take time but just know with confidence and a high self-esteem comes with a happier you.

Like always I am here for support or if you just have questions.

Peace & Love


  1. Great post! I agree, how you feel about yourself really transpires into your relationship. Your insecurities can make or break a relationship. It is best to resolve issues within yourself first...then move forward! Good luck as you re-enter the dating world!!!

  2. I love this post and the confidence that you have within yourself. You were definitely speaking the truth. I also agree with unsxripted, it's best to resolve issues within before moving forward. Good luck and enjoy the single life :)

  3. Awesome post!!! In your first paragraph and I began to flashback on many situations in which I believe I sabotaged a relationship allowing what I "thought" a man thought of me or what others saw of me...I began to push them away...allow my low confidence to show in being insecure in and out of the bedroom. I notice now times I would down play a relationship thinking they didn't like me like that anyway cause I wasn't what they wanted. Even most recently, I told a man on a dating site via email "Even thought I know I may not be your type I just wanted to tell you that you have a beautiful smile" I didn't even think about it twice until he replied and said "thank what is my type". I was humiliated cause even with the "thought" of being confident in my own I still had insecurities about what I thought a man would like or not like. I automatically assumed that he wanted someone smaller or even a different color than myself and I was horrified in my feelings. I couldn't even believe that I had and continue to allow what society is doing or think to flow over into my mind and my actions...SUCKED!!! Thanks for the post...I now am fighting myself for myself!!!

  4. Your welcome and your on the right path just keep working on yourself.