Tuesday, November 13, 2012

How Much Should You Rely On Your Significant Other For Confidence?

In the December issue of Cosmopolitan U.K., Kim tells editors about how her boyfriend, Kanye West, improves her self-esteem. “He’s great at boosting my confidence. He gives me compliments in every way possible,” she said.

Who wouldn't want a mate who thinks you're amazing and tells you so? And, yet, Kardashian's remark reminded Samantha Escobar of The Gloss of her own tendency to rely too much on her partner to keep her ego afloat.

She wrote, "For the last however many years I’ve been in the dating world, a significant portion of my self-confidence has come from whomever I’ve been dating. Whether it was needing my partner to consistently tell me I’m pretty–otherwise I would feel ugly–or relying on another boyfriend to call me smart because I felt inadequate in school or with writing, I got most of my 'confidence boosts' from other people."

It's a concern HuffPost Women blogger Autumn Whitefield-Madrano has voiced in the past. She, too, knows how it feels to look to a significant other for validation of your appearance. But for her, this has led to concerted efforts to "look the part" -- to present herself as her significant other's ideal partner.

In her post "Relationships And Appearance: How I Stopped Trying To Look The Part," she wrote about an ex-boyfriend, "I wanted to be seen as a part of a team -- his team -- and by styling myself to look the part, I was hoping to become a naturalized citizen of his psychic nation. If I looked like I belonged with him, perhaps I might actually belong with him."
I think that you can look to your significant other for helping with your self esteem and confidence but you MUST NOT rely on it. At the end of the day you have to be happy and confident within your self and by yourself. Liking complements are one thing but if you only feel how someone else thinks you should you will never be truly happy.

What do you think? How much do you depend on your partner to bolster your self-confidence, about your appearance or other aspects of who you are?

Courtesy of www.huffingtonpost.com

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