Friday's From Me To You

TGIF Ladies,

I'm so happy the weekend is here so I can attempt to get some sleep (lol). So I posted yesterday about overweight women having eating disorders and I can't stop thinking about it. That's what I want to touch on today.

I have came to the conclusion that I am a binge eater. I can not control how much I eat at times even when I tell myself to put something down. I've always thought that I can control it on my own, but I'm starting to think that maybe I can't. I do really good with eating healthy, but when I hit rough patches in my life that all goes out the window. I am a stress and emotional eater. So when I'm not happy I eat and eat and eat.

I also have someone close to me that has body image and eating issues. I don't have body image issues but I definitely understand her eating disorder more. She does a combination of things. She may starve herself for a bit or binge eat a bit. She used to be overweight as a younger girl but she is now smaller. She is not skinny but she's at a healthy weight for her. I've always been worried for her doing drastic things to not gain weight, but I am not starting to worry about my own health.

What’s The Truth Behind Your Weight?

When you read the question “What’s the truth behind your weight?” you automatically start rattling off excuses about you being too big because you hate the gym, or too small because you’re so busy running around that you forget to eat.

Those are perfectly fine answers, but when I ask for the truth, I mean something like this…
The other day a friend and I were lamenting about our fitness goals or lack there of, when she made an admission that I think startled even her. She said that the reason she thinks she put on weight was because it kept men from paying attention to her.

“Oh, You Skinny Now!”

My first thought is to wonder who they are talking too when I hear “Oh you’re skinny now?” lauded in my general direction since they are making eye contact with me. As I register that this confused coworker/family member/classmate/friend is talking to me, my second response is bewilderment.

I’m not in denial. I have certainly lost weight and some inches. It’s the result of eating more veggies and less college menu take out. It is also putting forth some serious effort to work out a couple times per week. Not to underscore my progress, but it’s only the difference in one dress size. What a difference one size seems to make! Already, I feel better and of course, my clothes fit differently. It is a reminder that life is truly in the details. It doesn’t take a lot to make a substantive change. Every step forward is a giant leap of momentum in the right direction. But skinny? Like the girls used to say on the playground at recess,

“Who me?

“Yes, you!”

“Couldn’t be!”

“Then who?”

Obesity and Eating Disorders

Today during my talk as part of the awesome Golda Poretsky’s HAES Masterclass Brittany asked about how we deal with eating disorders and weight. Our culture has a disturbing tendency to forget that “obesity” is defined as a ratio of weight and height and that eating disorders are a complex combination of physical and mental symptoms. I recently saw a study that compared brain circuits of obese women with brain circuits of women with anorexia.

This is essentially comparing apples to bowling balls, fat is not the opposite of anorexia nor is it the diagnosis of an eating disorder. Our cultural tendency to conflate weight and health can be deadly when it comes to eating disorders. Eating disorders happen to people at all sizes. Unfortunately when a fat person develops an ED they are often encouraged to continue and even step up the behaviors, even if they can get to the point that they are aware that they are sick and are actively asking for help. Our society is so convinced that thin by any means is better than fat, that sometimes I’m a little surprised they don’t just pass out cocaine to all the fat people.

Being Fat at Work

Being fat at work can be really difficult to navigate. There is already evidence that fat people get hired less often and paid less money than our thin counterparts. Once you do have a job it can be really scary to make waves – even when you are faced with things like getting worse benefits than your thin counterparts, being charged more for insurance, forced to attend company Weight Watchers meetings and more. We’ll look at some of these scenarios but first let’s start with some options on being proactive.

Obviously you shouldn’t have to deal with this. You should be hired based on your ability to do the job with whatever reasonable accommodations you need for whatever reason, and you should not have to deal with fat shaming and stigma where you work. You obviously aren’t obligated to do any of these things, and this isn’t an exhaustive list - these are just suggestions and if you don’t feel that they fit for you then skip them. It’s also completely valid to choose not to do activism at work.

Look Of The Week

 

 

Now that fall is upon us it time to dress a bit warmer. So bring on the long sleeves and put away those sandals. I love skinny leg jeans and anything pink so I found a great look with both today. I hope you like is as well.

 

The shirt is from Forever21 and is $15.80

The acid wash skinny jeans are from Torrid and are $58.50

The shoes are from GoJane and are $49.00

The earrings are from Lane Bryant and are $10.46

The bracelet is from H&M and is $14.95



Is Worrying About Your Weight Thwarting Your Happiness?

What would you think about, do, be, create etc. if you didn’t think about your weight?

If you never worried about your clothing size, the size of your thighs, the size of your belly, what might be different?

Our Primary Distraction
I don’t know for sure that Albert Einstein never worried about his appearance, but given his long wild hair and penchant for not wearing socks (a trait a share with the man, and surely a sign of my genius, tee hee) I doubt that his appearance was foremost in his mind.

In a world where all of us are bombarded with reminders that we’re too fat, too short or too tall, our teeth aren’t white enough, our hair isn’t shiny enough, and on and on, it’s hard to not put a great deal of energy and attention on how we look.

And when it comes to fatness, we have extra pressure to contend with. Since the latest marketing ploy is that fatness means you’re unhealthy, you’re forced to put extra attention on your fatness. Fatness is seen as such a societal scourge that managing your fatness is a huge priority for many many people.

Empowerment Hour: Big and Bigger

As a woman who used to be no bigger than a size 10 for years, imagine my shock and horror when I slowly became a 16, 18 and ultimately a size 28. Never once as a young person did I ever see myself being plus size. My self esteem went down as my weight went up.

It all started in 2004 when I had a nervous breakdown in law school. I was put on medication and my weight ballooned to 232 pounds. I was miserable in my own skin. My clothes didn’t fit and I did not feel beautiful, pretty or curvy. I felt fat. I know, I said it…the dreaded words, FAT.

The Surprising Secret to Loving Your Body

Although it's family that forms your body image, your friends—the family you choose—have a powerful impact on how you feel about your shape as an adult, for better or worse. Find out if your crew is confidence-boosting and how to connect with pals who buoy you, even on "I feel fat" days.

Before I reveal his worst flaw, let me say a few words in defense of my father. He's a kind man. Loving. But he was raised by a critical Protestant mother, and he himself has a tendency to criticize. When I was 9, he found it amusing to occasionally point out that I hadn't lost my baby fat. When I was in my 20s and lean, he still said it, until I finally told him how much it irked me. He apologized, seemingly contrite, then said it again the next day.

Monday Wellness Check

Happy Monday Ladies,

I am not a fan of Mondays like most of you, but we have to start the week. There has been so many things going on in my life that has put me completely off track. As I have stated before I am an emotional and stress eater. When times are rough I completely throw everything out the window. I know last week I said I was going to get on track on the 17th, well that didn't happen.

Contest is Almost Over

Do you want to be Size Fabulous next feature?????

The contest is almost over. Check out the details by clicking the contest tab or just click the link http://sizefabulous.blogspot.com/p/contest.html.

Words Really Hurt

So yesterday I posted videos of plus size women dancing to Beyonce's "Dance For You". For the most part I received positive feedback. The videos were not to show how good or bad the girls dance. It was not post to see how their outfits looked either. The purpose of the videos was to show how these women embraced their bodies and had the confidence to put a video out there of themselves.

I had a conversation with two women (they are not plus size) about one of the videos. I ended up being very upset and annoyed. While I kept saying I wanted to show how confident these ladies were, all they could talk about was how bad the video was. After a while I just stopped trying to explain and let them continue to talk and make fun of these women. Just because I was not in the video doesn't mean my feeling couldn't be hurt by the negative comments.

Plus Size Women Recreate Beyonce's "Dance For You"

 

 

These ladies are amazing. There is no reason we cant be sexy or dance because of our weight. Way to go ladies I love it.

Courtesy of www.youtube.com

Are you comfortable naked?

It’s a question that seemed a bit unnerving at first, but one I’ve always been proud to answer assertively. My insides scream, “Of course I am!” but often my actions dictate differently. I’m stand among many men and women who may claim they like to flaunt their goods, but are really too shy!

Here are one to three tips on how to feel sexy naked:

Weight Gain is SEXY! Embrace those Curves

There has been a lot of talk in the media lately about pictures of Lady Gaga where she is more curvaceous than the public is used to her being. Critics are calling her fat, lazy and urging her to lose weight. The thing is that this “obesity” that people are going crazy over is nothing more than curves that many women get as they age. Instead of feeling like we need to be a model-esqe stick figure all of our lives, we must embrace this sexy weight gain! It’s not about getting fat or being sloppy, but rather gaining the curvaceousness our bodies were meant to have.

Friday's From Me To You

I'm Back My Lovely Fabulous Ones,

I am officially getting back to my blog and company. I'm sorry for the hiatus but I was and still am currently going through a few things. I feel I have been gone too long and despite what I am going through I still want to be here for you guys. So today I want to touch on life's trials and tribulations getting in the way of living your life.

We are all human and even the most powerful people goes through hard times in life. It may not be what you or I am going through but trust me they have their own troubles. But at the end of the day how do you handle your situations? Are you one to just grin and bare it or do you completely shut down?

No. 1 Junior Girl's Tennis Player Battles USTA Over Weight

Taylor Townsend of the United States plays during Day Eleven of the 2012 US Open at USTA Billie Jean King National Tennis Center on September 6, 2012 in the Flushing neighborhood of the Queens borough of New York City.

           

Taylor Townsend is the No. 1 ranked junior women's tennis player in the world but is reportedly at odds with the United States Tennis Association over her weight. The 16-year-old won the 2012 junior Australian Open singles tournament but was advised not to come to New York for the U.S. Open junior tournament, as was first reported by Tom Perrotta in the Wall Street Journal.

Empowerment Hour: Jumping in with Both Feet

Did you know that “everybody dies but not everybody lives?” I have encountered many women that are barely getting by and do not know why. Deep down, they ache to break free of mediocrity, but can’t seem to actually live their lives on their terms.

That woman used to be me. I sat day after day, reading those celebrity magazines and business books, saying to myself that I wish I had those lives. I couldn’t accept that living the good life, traveling around the world, and having more money was indeed possible in my life. After all, I felt that I wasn’t that talented, beautiful, or skillful enough to do the impossible. Hell, no one around me was doing anything but going to work, coming home, sitting in front of the television, paying bills, and maybe going on vacation every few years. There also wasn’t the love of a good man or woman in their lives.

The Original Cosmo Girl Had It Right

According to the dictionary the word empowerment has become a contemporary buzzword, the word empower is not new, having arisen in the mid-17th century with the legalistic meaning “to invest with authority, authorize.” Shortly thereafter it began to be used with an infinitive in a more general way meaning “to enable or permit.” Both of these uses survive today but have been overpowered by the word’s use in politics and pop psychology. Its modern use originated in the civil rights movement, which sought political empowerment for its followers. The word was then taken up by the women’s movement, and its appeal has not flagged.

Weight Loss Surgeries: Temporary Fix or Head Start?

Recently I had a quick catch up session with a good friend of mine I’ve known for years. As we sat and chatted over red velvet waffles and fried chicken (don’t judge us!), she proceeded to fill my in on an upcoming event in her life … she’s getting weight loss surgery. Now my fellow Frugivore readers before you jump to conclusions let me tell you this woman is stunning!

Gorgeous skin, healthy hair, amazing fashion sense and men fall all over themselves to talk to her on a regular basis, she is by no means unfortunate looking. The only thing “wrong” with her, in her opinion, is that she could stand to lose 20 pounds and get her stomach flat. These issues are barely noticeable when she’s dressed, Spanx or no Spanx (because you know Spanx is the mistress of illusion) and personally I see nothing wrong with her *shrug.*

Plus Size Woman = Limits in The Bedroom

So I was talking to a guy I know about limitations of plus size women in the bedroom. Now this guy dates women of all sizes so these are not his opions and feelings. He was talking to me about how his friends feel and react to dating and having sex with larger women.

On the initial meeting of some men and plus size women I was told his friends think the woman is pretty but they feel they will be wasting there time because there is a lot of limitations with a big girl. I was confused as far as to what these limitations would be. His friends stated that skinner women are more flexible and doing certain positions are easier.

Monday From Me To You

Happy Monday my Size Fabulous followers,

So many things has been going on and I am all over the place in a few areas. Fist my laptop has been being repaired going on almost three weeks. All I brought it in was for the speakers and they pretty much replaced everything except for the shell its in. That is one of the reasons I did not post much last week. Secondly last week I also came down with a serious and painful stomach virus. I'm not 100% yet but I will say I'm around 90%. That is the other reason I couldn't post.

Size Fabulous 1st Photo Shoot

You Used to Be Fat Too!!!!!

So over the weekend it was Global United Plus Size Day. I did not create the event but I definitely did my part to help spread the word. As I scrolled through my personal Facebook status updates I saw a comment that got me very upset. It was from a younger girl that I know. Her status said something to the effect of "Who created a national plus size day, someone need to tell these chick to get off their fat asses and lose weight". I got upset for two reason.

Loving Your Body Even When You Don't

I love this article by yoga teacher Bethany Eanes, “I Love Yoga, But It Didn’t Help Me Love My Body.” I think that she expresses a common experience of those who are “supposed” to love their bodies–sometimes we don’t. Sometimes, we just aren’t feeling that great about your body. And because we are advocating body love, the subsequent feeling is guilt–feeling guilty for not feeling body love.