Monday, June 9, 2014

Big Women, Sex, and....The Problem

I was reading an article a friend shared on Facebook about a plus size woman having unprotected sex in fear that she couldn't not keep men any other way. It was a great article and one particular passage hit home for me...
"I really thought about where this sister was coming from. Being a single, full-figured diva myself, I understand the struggle. It’s real in these dating streets. We live in a world where a size 2 has a better chance of getting a date on a Friday night than a size 22. Men are visual creatures, and no matter how great your personality is, they all want a certain “type”. "
Oh how I know this feeling to well. Since I was in high school and actively dating, I went through and understand what that woman was coming from. It took a while for me to develop the confidence and self-esteem I have so in the beginning I was also a beggars cant be choosers type of girl. Now, I wasn't as careless as that young woman in regards to always having unprotected sex, but there were situations when I felt pressured and gave in.

Fat-shaming is real and it happens at any age which can lead people to do things they shouldn't and wouldn't normally do. It takes time to build confidence and self-esteem when you have felt so low about yourself. It can be a daily struggle to learn to accept and love yourself and your body regardless of your size. Not to mention the countless reminders we get daily about how we need to lose weight. The author gave great advise throughout the article and this was my favorite...
"But my most important message to her and all my Big Girls is this: no one will love you unless you love yourself. Yes, there are some “Shallow Hal’s” out there who will reject you at first glance. But most people are attracted to confidence. Wearing confidence and self-love is better than make-up, designer clothes, or a new hairstyle … it’s even better than Spanx. Heck, I can’t think of too many things better than Spanx! When you go out there fully armored with self-love and confidence, you’ll attract the guy you’re supposed to have."
Ladies never think and treat yourself like you are less than. You deserve nothing but the best and respect and always remember that.