Full Figured, Fabulous & Dating Part 1: Where to Look

I think just about every single person in the world is looking for love. The struggle is real out here. I can remember the days when it was easier to find love and I miss the days of men actually courting a woman and being a gentleman. Even though I feel some men have become lazy in regards to dating, I strongly feel women has let them. Men will treat you how you allow them to treat you.

I wouldn't say it is harder for plus size women to date, but we do have some stereotypes that can hinder finding the right guy. If you find that you are meeting the same type of men, that does not fit the description of the man you are looking for, it can be because you are not doing the right things to attract the right one. Dating is never easy but you can make it fun. Of course you will run into a few bad apples but as long as you are doing your part Mr. Right will come along.

Part 1 is focusing on where are you are looking for men. You can find them anywhere, from the internet to the grocery store, but it's all about how you put yourself out there.

• The internet is a quick and easy way to find a potential mate. Internet dating is becoming more popular as we don't have the time, like we used, to hit the dating scene. The first key factor of internet dating is to be honest about who you are. DO NOT try to "Catfish" someone LOL. You want a current picture of yourself and a honest description about yourself. The next factor is to be VERY and I repeat VERY careful. There are many scammers and crazy people online looking for their next victim. It is easier to be duped by someone online. Do Not give out any personal information and take your time. Present yourself online like you would in person. Be yourself and do not be scared to turn someone down after you meet them in person.
• The club is a fun place to meet someone. You get the opportunity to meet someone with similar interest in music, dancing, and how they spend their weekends. Every club is different so you want to go to the clubs that cater to your potential mate qualities. The club can also be tricky. Some men are just looking for a good time (sex), so be careful. You do not have to go home with them. It is perfectly fine to simply talk and end with an exchange of numbers. Always keep your drink with you and if you did go by yourself (I don't recommend) make sure someone is on a constant update of your where abouts.
• Through friends and family. How many times have you asked your friend or relative if they know someone. That is a good thing to do. If it is someone you are close to you will know what kind of people they surround themselves with. You should have an idea of what they are about and their interest. Your friend/family member will also speak very highly of you so you kind of already have your foot in the door. The first date can actually be a little less awkward because you can do a group date. You do, however, still have to do your part in finding out who this man is and if he is the man you are looking for.
• Work can be the most riskiest place to find love (I am guilty of dating coworkers). Although my breakups did not effect the office, others have fallen victim to the work place relationship drama. Dating the boss is by far the most risk taking. He is your boss and if it ends badly you can be without a job or he can make your life hell. You also have to deal with any backlash if your coworkers find out. Are you willing to take that chance????? Dating a coworker can also be tough. At the end of the day you have to see this person everyday. So if this ends badly, he might be the last person you want to see. A only great thing about dating coworkers is you have the opportunity to get to know them very well because you see them everyday. I say tread lightly on work place romances.
• General out and about encounters. How many times have you went to a certain place on lunch because this cute guy is always there. (Don't act like I'm the only one who has done this LOL) Random run-ins with people can lead to great dates and a potential relationships. Don't be afraid to engage in conversation or give your phone number to someone you have your eye on. You never know what can happen and if he is interested he will be happy you did. If you present yourself well you will not come off as desperate.

At the end of the day you can meet a man anywhere, but some places are to be handled differently. Kick start your dating life and put yourself out there. Just be you and be fabulous!!!!

***Keep an eye out for Full Figured, Fabulous & Dating Part 2: What to Wear next Friday***

Finding The Right Support System

Through every journey in our lives we always look for the right person who can support us and hold our hand the whole way through. For me it's my two sisters. We are each other's best friends and we support each other through everything.

I've put a list together to help you find the right support system. It will also let you know if the person you think is there for may be lacking a few qualities.

• Honesty: This is the most important thing to me. I believe if the person was truly there for you they will be honest and help you make the right choices.

• Trustworthy: You should trust this person to the highest extent. You want to know that what happens between you two or what you tell them will stay between the both of you.

• A Phone Call Away: When you are in need, you want this person to be there at that moment. You shouldn't have to wait forever for a call back or wait forever to see them.

• Doesn't Judge You: Who wants to speak to someone that judges you. Regardless if they agree with what your doing they should never pass judgment. They are not you and shouldn't want you to be like anyone other than yourself.

• Not a Debbie Downer: You never should have someone close to you that always sees the negative in every situation. It's nothing like getting excited about something to only have someone rain on your parade all the time.

• Close to you: This person should be a permanent fixture in your life. You should not depend on someone that is in and out your life on the regular.

There can definitely be more factors to how you find your support system but I feel these are the most important. Hopefully these can help you on your journey in life.

Learning To Love Your Body

Can we talk about this?
A reader poll on the blog Sexgenderbody states: When I look at myself naked in the mirror, I feel... To which 57% of the responses answered shame.

We all know people who are carrying around shame and self-loathing towards their bodies. As someone who is no stranger to feeling ashamed when I look at myself in the mirror, it breaks my heart to know that others feel the same way. This negative pattern can contaminate every part of your life and self-perception - the clothes that you put on in the morning, your feelings of acceptance and happiness in your job/friendships/relationships, your sex life, and (most importantly) to your relationship with your self.

Learning to love yourself regardless of your size is one of the most crucial and beneficial gifts that a person can give themselves. The ripple effects of learning to experience self love will touch every part of your life, improving and lightening the load of your heart with every step. Think of how much more time you would have if you could replace feelings of self-loathing with feelings of joy and love and abundance!

Amazingly, I've found that this problem lends itself to nearly ALL body types and sizes. While I might quietly resent a very thin friend of mine who regales me with her negative body image and personal feelings of shame, it is important to keep perspective on this point. Nearly everyone, no matter how skinny/tall/perfectly shaped they may look, feels this way about themselves from one time to another. It's important to promote healthy body image regardless of size, even when that seems difficult.

Tools for learning to love your body no matter what your size:

* Buy clothing (and, perhaps more importantly, underwear) that fits you and allows you to feel comfortable/sexy/pulled together/happy. STOP WORRYING ABOUT THE SIZE ON THE LABEL. There is nothing worse than feeling like you have to starve yourself for a week to fit into that dress you bought a size too small, because you just couldn’t bring yourself to buy a size 6/14/24/whatever.

* Talk sweetly to yourself. Look in the mirror and tell yourself how beautiful you look. Bonus points if you can do this naked. Because, remember, you are beautiful, many people probably think so, and a little reminder to your heart here and there will go a long, long way.

* Do not give people who delight in making you feel fat/ugly/unlovable/unworthy a SINGLE SECOND more of your time. Wash your hands of them (but have compassion, because probably the root of their meanness lies in their own insecurities).

* Move your body. It is MUCH harder to hate your _insert body part here_ when it is directly responsible for allowing you to walk down the street/carry your groceries/have amazing sex/pick up your children. You will feel better with every step you take. Bonus points for doing something like hula hooping which will both cause you to move your body around, and also allow you to express some sensual creativity. (It is an absolute fact that you cannot feel badly about your body and hula hoop at the same time, this is a 100% smile guarantee.)

* Do not sit around with your friends/family/loved ones and bitch about your bodies as a form of social interaction. It hurts you. It hurts them. I am willing to risk my life that you have better things you could be doing with your time.

How are you learning to love your body?

Courtesy of www.yesandyes.org

My Top Picks from Rip The Runway Size Sexy Segment

I loved the ENTIRE segment. Not only did the collections look amazing, but the models KILLED it. When Boris introduced the segment, he said it was the most requested and talked about segment and can you blame it!!!!!! It was HOT and the confidence of the models blew the roof off. I wanted to give you my top picks of the night..

Oh how I love me some fringe. Fringe is on a major come back. This is a Shanda Style Piece. This off white dress with fringe is amazing. It is a show stopper and will make heads turn. When you want to walk in the room and make a statement this is what you should wear.

When I saw this skirt come out, I knew I had to have it. Color block items gives you so many options to play around with added colors on your look. The skirt is by Youtheary Khmer and the white sleeveless top is by JIBRI. I liked the white top but I would wear a colored top like pink or yellow.

I liked this black and white wrap dress. This is also a Shanda Style piece. Wrap dresses are fun and can be dressed up or dressed down. You can go to work or out on the town in this dress. The two colors is what make it stand out. Not to mention it covered the cleavage area very nice.






I was surprised to see Fashion To Figure on the runway, but I also was happy. Fashion To Figure has very trendy and reasonably priced clothes. I love lace, or any other kind of see through top, it allows you to layer different colors underneath. The color is very nice and this top can be worn with jeans, shorts or a skirt.

How amazing was her make over. I love Angela Simmons style by the way, but this chick rocked from the subway to the runway. This is a Igigi black rouged dress and what girl doesn't need a little black dress. Rouged dresses are very flattering to larger figures. This is also a look you can rock from day to night.

 

Last but definitely not least was this Shanda Style white gown with sequin cut outs. This is a very sexy dress. The sequin cut out makes the dress give a curvaceous silhouette. So if you don't really have hips this dress can give you some. How you can you not bring the heat in this dress.

Loving Your Body Doesn't Mean Hating on Skinny Women

I see a lot of plus size women that make remarks about skinny women. Now I do love the fact that you have the confidence and self esteem to embrace the body you have but in no way will putting others down help you in any positive way.

The same way you feel about people making comments about big women is how some skinny women feel. You do not know them or their situation. There are many women who are not happy being small and try very hard to gain weight and it just doesn't happen. We cant assume all skinny women have eating disorders or other problems. Just like we cant assume that all fat people are lazy and have every dangerous health condition.

Loving yourself also means not putting others down. Putting others down only shows your insecurities that you have with yourself. I understand you want to stand proud of who you are and the body you have but being negative towards others will only have people look at you in a negative way.

Embrace the body you have without putting others down. Once you are able to do that you will be able to truly love yourself. Always stay positive ladies and remember to treat people how you want to be treated. Don't make negative comments about anyone if you don't want people to make negative comments about you.

A Clothing Store in Sweden is Using Curvy Mannequins

A clothing store in Sweden is being hailed by women around the world after a photo of two surprisingly curvy mannequins were photographed and posted online.

Dressed in skimpy lingerie, the mannequins displayed softer stomachs, fuller thighs and generally more realistic proportions than the traditional department store models. For comparison, most mannequins in the U.S. are between a svelte size 4 or 6—a departure from the average American woman who is a size 14.

On Tuesday, a blogger at Women's Rights News posted a photo of the department store mannequins to Facebook and the response was overwhelming. "It's about time reality hit..." wrote one out of almost 2,500 commentators. "Anybody saying these mannequins encourage obesity or look unhealthy, you have a seriously warped perception of what is healthy. I guarantee the "bigger" mannequin in the front there represents a perfect BMI" wrote another. As of Thursday, the photo had garnered almost 50,000 likes and shared almost 15,000 times. That's a lot of attention for a hunk of fiber glass and plastic.

There were rumors that the mannequins were on display at H&M in Sweden but a spokesperson told Shine: "The image is not from an H&M store. At this time, we are not using this type of mannequin, but we do not rule of the possibility of doing so in the future."

Mannequins have been around for thousands of years but their function in fashion is fairly recent, first appearing in store windows in the 1800s during the Industrial Revolution when window panes were installed in stores to display the latest fashion trends. Throughout WW1 and the Depression, mannequins changed their outfits and body proportions to reflect society at that time. Cut to the 1960s, when British mannequin firm Rootstein began modeling their dolls after pop culture and fashion icons to reflect runway trends at the time.

Modern-day mannequins have long been critiqued for having tiny proportions. In 2007, British health officials demanded that stores on London's fashionable High Street stop using stick-thin models in an effort to reflect the wide range of sizes and shapes of British women. In 2010, Club Monaco came under fire for featuring mannequins with protruding spines and clavicles. And in 2011, GAP was chastised by bloggers for mannequins with bone-thin legs modeling the "Always skinny" jeans display. “I'm wondering what the internal project name for this was at Gap HQ,” wrote one blogger. "Death-camp chic’? ‘Ana Pride’? ‘Famine fashion forward?"

And male mannequins haven't escaped scrutiny either. In 2010, Rootstein debuted male dolls under their "Young and Restless" collection modeled after teenage boys with 35-inch chests and 27-inch waists. The company had to defend its decision to use smaller models to eating disorders groups.

As much as the public contests these down-sized mannequins, when designers have attempted to create dolls that reflect real-life proportions they're met with criticism, even disgust. In late 2012, when a Reddit user posted a photo of an "obese mannequin" in satire, commentary ranged from "Ew, fat people", "It's embarrassing how obese America is" and the amusing, "He's not fat, just big foamed."

A recent published in the Journal of Consumer Research shows that women's self esteem takes a nosedive when exposed to models of any size, so maybe there is no easy answer. But as long as mannequins are influencing people to buy fashion, reflecting real-life bodies is a step in the right direction.
Article courtesy of www.yahoo.com

I Know What You Hate but What Do You Love

We always hear what people hate about their body but hearing what people love is not very often. We can become so consumed with how things should be or look that we forget to embrace what we have. Why is that???? Do you ever think that if maybe you start to talk about all the great things you will have a more positive body image.

I want to challenge you to write one positive thing about yourself everyday for 2 weeks. After two weeks you then go back and read every positive thing you wrote. It should put you in a better place to loving yourself and your body. That's something you can always look back on to give you boost when your feeling down about your body.

End the negative body talk. Speaking negatively about yourself is not going to create change. It will just keep you in that negative space. Once you start speaking positively you will be in a happier place. This is something only you can change. No one can make you truly happy from the inside out. It is work that you have to put in and trust me the result will totally be worth it.

Take a stand today to end negative body talk and start your two week challenge. This should kick start your journey to a happier and more positive you.

Dress for a Better Mood

How do you feel when you look in the mirror??? Are you happy with what you see??? If not, what can you do the change it???

I was at work thinking about how I dress depending on how I feel. When I'm overly exhausted or upset I tend to throw on whatever and then I feel a certain way for the rest of the day. My point is that no matter how you feel, dress how you would If you where in a happier mood. When we are not in a happy mood are clothing choices can either keep us in a funk or help us out the funk.

Not caring about your appearance usually leads to you being upset that people are seeing you not at your best. Being a plus size woman the things to avoid is over sized and baggy clothes, too tight or ill fitting clothes and wrinkle or dirty clothes.

When I know I am dressed in something I like, it helps my mood. You should try it, it really works majority of the time.

Plus Size Woman = Limits in The Bedroom????

So I was talking to a guy I know about limitations of plus size women in the bedroom. Now this guy dates women of all sizes so these are not his opinions or feelings. He was talking to me about how his friends feel and react to dating and having sex with larger women.

On the initial meeting of some men and plus size women I was told his friends think the woman is pretty but they feel they will be wasting there time because there is a lot of limitations with a big girl. I was confused as far as to what these limitations would be. His friends stated that skinner women are more flexible and doing certain positions are easier.

My friend said he has to constantly defend why he prefers to date larger woman and explain how sex with a plus size woman is not what they think. He has never been limited in the bedroom and feels plus size women actually has a few perks that smaller women don't have. He thinks that men are scared to date plus size women.

It is such a negative stigma surrounding large people in general that some are reluctant to date bigger people because they don't know what to expect. If they tried it they would see that there is no difference. A relationship and sex with a plus size person is exactly like relationships and sex with a smaller person.

My first question is how would you know if you don't or will not ever date a plus size woman. Just like the saying goes, "Don't knock it until you try it". Some people need to open there eyes to life. People come in all shapes and sizes and everything in life we go through is the same. Its crazy that one would have to constantly defend the type of person they want to date.

It All Starts with You

Everything that goes on in your life starts with you. Every change that is made starts with you. Why would you want someone else to make any decisions for you. Think to yourself, what do YOU want to do, say or change about yourself. Then ask yourself what are you waiting for?

Changing the way you think can help build your confidence and improve your self esteem. Having control can make you feel powerful. I know it does for me. I can admit that it may be a little scary to do something out of your normal day to day but changes can't be made without you. I'm still nervous venturing out and creating my brand and business but I know this is what I want and I have to go for it. Even if you fail AT LEAST YOU TRIED. Never allow yourself to say the should've, could've, would'ves.

If you want to change your wardrobe, then do it. Trying out things you've never worn before can actually make you love how beautiful you really are. It can help you appreciate and love your body. I recently started wearing eye make up and I was amazed at how it made me feel. Just remember when buying new clothes to make sure you by clothes that fit and complements your frame.

If Losing weight is what you want to do then do it. The first thing is to make sure your losing for the right reasons. Yes we all love our curves but we have to remember to be healthy. I'm on a weight loss journey as well so I cant relate to all of you. Remember to take it easy nothing happens over night.

I just want all of you to start doing everything you are scared to do. Don't let anyone stop you from your dreams because of you size, including yourself. Sometimes people can stand in their own way and that's what we need to overcome. Again I cant say it enough that nothing will change in your life without you making and committing to those changes.

Look of the Week

 

Ok I have an addiction I want to admit to..........I am addicted to the peplum trend LOL. I have a few peplum tops and I definitely want more. The look this week is very versatile. It can be worn to work then worn to happy hour. I am in love with the oxblood color and thought this top can be matched with anything from pants to a skirt. I also chose a cap toe (or pointy toe) flat. The cap toe gives a more professional look for the work place. I don't wear heels in the office everyday but I still want to wear a professional shoe. These shoes will give you just that. I Hope you love this look as much as I do.

 

Angle Pocket Pant from JCPenneys at $27.00

Oxblood Polkadot Pepleum Top from Asos Curves at $33.91

Cap Toe Flats from Target at $29.99

Your Pretty for a Big Girl

I cringe when I hear people say that to themselves and others. Is it a rare find to see a pretty big girl???? Do we not exist???? There are just as many unattractive skinny people just like bigger people. Just because you carry a bigger frame does not automatically make you less attractive. I wish people would do away this phrase.

Ladies we can not accept every form of flattery. Saying that is just a back handed complement. He called you pretty but he also just called you fat. It's not cute and if someone ever said it to me he would never get the time of day. Your beauty should not be based off your size and you can not accept anything less.

If he is truly into you (besides sex) he will not reference your size to your beauty. We have to learn that all attention is not always good attention. Just because he says your cute doesn't mean a thing if he is throwing shade on your size. When you love yourself and your body you will learn to separate the two. Stand up for what you deserve and never settle just to feel the love you are longing for.

You are strong, you are worth it, you are amazing and YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. Not beautiful for a big girl but beautiful because you are you.

Wellness Check

It has been a very long time since I have done a wellness check with you guys. I didn't want to bore you doing them every week or every other week. I am hoping you are all still on your journey to a healthier life. I was in a rut for a while but about a couple of weeks ago I got the motivation I have been looking for. My eating has been awesome as well as my exercising.

My Eating
I was looking for any type of motivation to get me back to eating clean like I did a couple years ago and I found that motivation in a juicer. I watched a movie called "Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead". It was about an over weight man that did a 60 day juice fast to regain his health back. I was so inspired by his story I went out and bought a juicer. I went back and forth about whether to do a fast or not and I decided I wouldn't be able to do a fast based on my hectic schedule. I decided that I will however make one juice a day at least five days a week. Juicing has completely changed my eating for the better. I barely have any cravings for processed foods and I have been able to focus on healthy over what taste good. Although I eat clean mostly I do allow myself to have certain things like bagels, I love bagels LOL, without me ending up craving other processed foods. I am so amazed but ecstatic about it.

My Exercise
OMG I hate working out LOL. I am not a big fitness fanatic and was struggling to find some type of motivation. Even though I do a lot of running around all day I still want to get a little workout in. After doing really good with my eating I knew working out will make my results that much better. I decided to do two March challenges. One is a squat challenge and the other it a strength training challenge. So far I can barely walk LOL but I am doing very well. I never feel like doing it but it only takes about a half hour to do and I feel so good after it's done. I'm starting off slow so I don't plan to add anything else in for exercise this month.

Overall
I am doing great. I am happy to be out my rut and going strong. Between eating mostly clean and a bit of exercise I am losing about a pound or two almost everyday. I am beyond amazed by that but I am happy to be back on track. My energy is up, I am in better moods and I am looking towards my goal to get back into my pre-twin pregnancy pants.

I hope your still on track to your goal and if you are in a rut don't worry you will get through it. If I could do it then you can too. You are strong so never doubt yourself. I am here if you have any questions about healthy eating, juicing or my exercise routines.

What The Hell Does Think Like a Skinny Person Mean????

So I was waking up out my sleep and on my TV (yes I sleep with my TV on) was an infomercial about a new weight loss gimmick. Since my eyes were still closed I paid close attention to what the man was saying and it annoyed the hell out of me. He kept saying that his weight loss method will help you think like a skinny person.

What the hell does think like a skinny person mean. He didn't focus on weight loss for health or body image. His main goal seemed to be to make people believe you have to think like a skinny person to lose weight. BUT not all skinny people are healthy, not all skinny people eat healthy.....NOT ALL SKINNY PEOPLE ARE THE PICTURE OF WEIGHT LOSS, HEALTH AND HAPPINESS.

It pisses me off that some people are still trying to push the notion that skinny means healthy and over weight means death. Just because someone has a larger frame does not mean they are unhealthy. I am overweight but I also live a healthy lifestyle. I know that even if I do lose a lot of weight I will still have a full figured frame. Ladies big or small we must not fall into the mindset that skinny mean healthy and happy because it doesn't.

Loving yourself and your body will make you happy and living a healthy lifestyle will make you healthy. People speak on what they don't know out of ignorance. Educate yourself on what decision you want to make about your body and embrace it. You are worth far more than your weight.