The Struggle to Get Back on Track After You Fall Off

That's what I'm dealing with right now. I went so long without having a slip up and now that I am trying to get back to where I was it is a daily struggle. I have always been told it takes 21 days to form a habit and I am starting to believe them. I think there is a few factors that plays a part in my struggle but at the end of the day I am the only one that can make the right decisions for me. So what is my problem.

To be honest it is just easier to reach for that tasty piece of food I crave so much or binge on snacks. It's easier to not think about getting enough water or drink of any sort in. It is just easier to sit on the couch all day and relax than to push yourself while working out. But why do I do it when it's not what I want. I want to be in a position where I'm not tempted by foods and can say no. I want to be able to get up at anytime and get in a great workout without hating it. Soooo what the hell am I complaining about.

Recycling Relationships....Should You Give an Old Boo Another Chance

We all have that one boo that we give multiple chances before we cut him off for good. That's even if we end up cutting him off for good. I have had an off and on again relationship but not really a relationship with this guy for almost ten years. In all honesty I don't even know why it lasted that long.

I pretty much used him as a void to fill space and time while I was in between more serious relationships. I met him when he starting working at my job in about 2005 and I was 19. We were instantly friends but nothing more since he was married at the time. Fast forward to 2008 after I returned back to my home town from living in another state and the birth of my daughter. Me and my daughter's dad was broken up and one night at the club guess who I run into....My old buddy. We instantly hit if off like I never left and since he was no longer married I had no problem with our friendship moving to the next level.

That next level was us just having a good time with each other, nothing too serious, but he definitely had my attention. That was until I was wooed by my daughter's dad and dropped my little boo like a bad habit LOL. Now lets fast forward another year or so to the birth of my twins and eventually ended the relationship with my kids father AGAIN...(smh I know). Who did I run back too...my old boo. He was my rebound guy, my I'm bored guy, my I need love and affection guy, my I just want a serious and good relationship guy. I thought because we never had issues that he could possibly be the man I need to be with. So over the course of I don't know how long he was my boo and I wasn't until I had a serious conversation with him that I learned he may not be the one for me.

As I noticed my feelings were getting stronger for him, I also noticed how certain things started to bother me. I was over the waiting for text and calls back. I was annoying with the priority level I was on. I was highly upset at the things we did for "quality time spent together". And I started to feel nothing but more than a booty call of sorts. It was all fun and games until feelings get involved so I sat him down for a talk. Turns how he didn't want what I did. but he didn't want to lose me (guys kill me with that). So I had a decision to make and after talking to my sister about it and my kids dad wooing me again...smh, I dropped my tender-roni like a hot potato.

So years go by and after my horrible breakup with my kids father (definitely for good this time lol) I randomly and unexpectantly get poked on Facebook and guess who it is...my boo thang lol. I was flooded back with fun memories and cue our cute little convo of how its been so long and how he missed me. So when he asked about my relationship  and I give him the it just didn't work out line, he hits me back with the I should have just stayed with him. But wasn't you the one that didn't want a relationship????? Here we go again, but this time was it was different and that was because I was different. The last break up with my kids dad gave me a different view on what I want out of my next relationship and it definitely didn't include someone who is giving mixed vibes on what they wanted. We are to old for that and sure enough he started his flakiness straight out the gate. I knew it was a wrap and I'm happy I didn't really pursue anything with him this time around.

Things will never change unless we demand change and even then is it even worth it. Some relationships need to stay buried and be gone forever. Remember why it didn't work in the first place and evaluate if it's worth being a part of your life again. Can me and dude be friends....absolutely, but as far as a relationship....nah I'm good. It was fun while it lasted.

Plus Size Celebrities and The Plus Size Clothing Industry....Sigh

Actress Melissa McCarthy will be creating a plus size clothing line, which many of us will be very excited to see and purchase. She recently did an interview with  Redbook on her reasons for creating the line and It actually made me a little angry.

Melissa stated,

“When I go shopping, most of the time I’m disappointed. Two Oscars ago, I couldn’t find anybody to do a dress for me. I asked five or six designers—very high-level ones who make lots of dresses for people—and they all said no.” 

Here's the thing, There are many and I do mean MANY plus size designers that would have been honored to make a dress for Melissa. The problem I have is that many celebrities are either unaware of their options or think that if their dress isn't made by a specific designer it will not be as fabulous.

How many times have we seen celebrities like Melissa McCarthy, Gabourey Sidibe, Rebel Wilson and countless others face problems when it comes to killer fashion on the red carpet. I am always left feeling like how...why....

I find it hard to believe that none of these women are able to at least get to a computer and pull up the internet to find better options. But, as much as it is the celebrity responsibility it is their stylist responsibility. As a stylist your job is to make sure your client has every option possible. If the stylist is not able to make things happen then they should be fired. There is a reason the plus size fashion industry is a billion dollar industry. There are amazing designers out there! There is no reason for them to be on the red carpet in anything less than stunning like these numbers below,

This should be an every day occurrence specially since they have the financial means to make it happen. I know when starting out things can be rough, however, their options should never be limited and/or unfashionable....

I just had to vent a little bit, LOL. Being a stylist that caters to plus size women was mainly because I know the struggle we face to look good. There are always options and solutions to looking fabulous.

How do you feel about this???

My Clothes Declared War on Me

Sooooo yup I have been fighting with my clothes lately and my clothes are winning. I have still not been able to wear all of my pre-twins clothes and now I'm fighting with my post-twins clothing SMH. Obviously I've been gaining weight and battling the scale for a while now but the stressful moments in my life made things that much more difficult.

I always gain weight when I stress and the end of last year was beyond stressful and now my clothes are paying for it. I keep telling myself that I will be back into them soon or they will be less tight once I lose a few pounds, but how long am I going to feel stuffed in my clothes.

As sad as it is to move up in a size I know that is the thing I must do FOR THE MOMENT. It will not be a permanent thing, however, I want to feel more comfortable and relaxed in my clothes. Tight clothes is cool from time to time, but geesh... I want to be able to exhale LOL.

I have came to conclusion that I must buy some new pants, jeans and even some tops. Whomp whomp... IT REALLY SUCKS THOUGH. I work hard but I fall short sometimes and that's ok. It is ok if you have to buy a bigger size just know that if you want to see changes you have to change. That is my goal. The ultimate goal is to get back into my pre-twins clothes and I know that time will come. Until then I want to be able to breath and eat without feeling constricted.