Look of the Week

 

Spring is in the air. I am sooooo happy the weather is getting nicer. The temperature is warming up and the sun is out more. Although it is a bit chilly at times I feel it is ok to start bringing out those cute and funky dresses. Since I am in Upstate New York I wouldn't wear a dress yet unless I have boots like the ones above. The best thing about these boots to me is that they are a wedge heel. I am definitely a wedge heel girl. They provide the best stability, especially for those who are new to heels. I am LOVING this look of the week, how about you???

Graphic Print Dress from Asos Curves at $47.47
Knee High Wedge Boots from GoJane at $24.95

20 Ways to Love Your Body

1. Think of your body as the vehicle to your dreams. Honor it. Respect it. Fuel it.

2. Create a list of all the things your body lets you do. Read it and add to it often.

3. Become aware of what your body can do each day. Remember it is the instrument of your life, not just an ornament.

4. Create a list of people you admire: people who have contributed to your life, your community, or the world. Consider whether their appearance was important to their success and accomplishments.

5. Walk with your head held high, supported by pride and confidence in yourself as a person.

6. Don’t let your weight or shape keep you from activities that you enjoy.

7. Wear comfortable clothes that you like, that express your personal style, and that feel good to your

body.

8. Count your blessings, not your blemishes.

9. Think about all the things you could accomplish with the time and energy you currently spend

worrying about your body and appearance. Try one!

10. Be your body’s friend and supporter, not its enemy.

11. Consider this: your skin replaces itself once a month, your stomach lining every five days, your liver every six weeks, and your skeleton every three months. Your body is extraordinary--begin to respect and appreciate it.

12. Every morning when you wake up, thank your body for resting and rejuvenating itself so you can

enjoy the day.

13. Every evening when you go to bed, tell your body how much you appreciate what it has allowed you to do throughout the day.

14. Find a method of exercise that you enjoy and do it regularly. Don’t exercise to lose weight or to fight your body. Do it to make your body healthy and strong and because it makes you feel good. Exercise for the Three F’s: Fun, Fitness, and Friendship.

15. Think back to a time in your life when you felt good about your body. Tell yourself you can feel like that again, even in this body at this age.

16. Keep a list of 10 positive things about yourself--without mentioning your appearance. Add to it!

17. Put a sign on each of your mirrors saying, “I’m beautiful inside and out.”

18. Choose to find the beauty in the world and in yourself.

19. Start saying to yourself, “Life is too short to waste my time hating my body this way.”

20. Eat when you are hungry. Rest when you are tired. Surround yourself with people that remind you of your inner strength and beauty.

Don’t Weigh Your Self-Esteem. It’s What’s Inside That Counts!

Compiled by Margo Maine, Ph.D.

Where Does Your Insecurities Come From?

So I had a conversation with someone and it got me thinking. What if you cant figure out where your insecurities come from. Is it possible that there really isn't a reason you feel this way or is there always a reason? I would have no idea. I'm not a doctor or a psychiatrist so I wouldn't know how to figure it out.In my opinion I think there is a trigger for feeling a certain way and having insecurities.

Usually it starts out as a kid. As you grow up and your body changes, you start to notice and realize things you never knew. Such as having larger or smaller breast, being heavier than your friends, the shape of your body and even the features on your face. Not only do you notice them but others do as well and if you hate a specific part of your body that will start your insecurities. No one wants other people to see what they hate about themselves. As we get older we either grow out of those insecurities or they get worse.

When we get to the stage of wanting to date that can cause insecurities also. Feeling that we are good enough or lack certain qualities can damage our self esteem. Some women try to be what they feel that person wants. That leads them to not liking who they are and wanting to be someone else like a celebrity. Everyday we see images of what society says is beautiful and women are affected by it everyday.

As adults we should be at the point were nothing can shake our confidence, but its not always that easy. When you wake up morning and look in the mirror what do you see? You have to ask yourself that and if it's negative you need to figure out why. Comparing ourselves to other is the main culprit in having insecurities. Why do we do it? I'm at the point where no one can make me feel less than and break my confidence, but why cant others be like me. I can admit I have my days when something bothers me, but I don't let it overwhelm me.

Looking back at our lives we should be able to see when our insecurities, lack of confidence and lower self esteem started. At the point you should be able to also see why it started. Was there a boy you liked that hurt your feelings? was your friend skinnier? were you teased at any point? Did family members hurt you? There has to be something.

My point is that we have to work on our inner selves. We can not be confident, powerful women if we don't believe it ourselves. I recommend starting a journal or talking to someone (anyone) to figure out how to become a confident, power and sexy woman. Wake up every morning and tell yourself one positive thing a day. Leave all negatives behind and love yourself. If you have no one to talk to I'm here, you can contact me.

Put an End to Dieting

I've been researching all kinds of healthy eating alternatives, facts, myths, the do's, the don'ts, and so much more for many years now. I have tried many different diets and food plans that didn't meet my needs. What I found to work for me is to adopt a healthy lifestyle. I no longer try diets plans and I definitely never tried diet pills.

I learned how to eat healthy without having to count calories. I learned portion control and what nutrients my body benefits from. It took me a long time but I figured it out. Now everyone is different and for some counting calories or something like weight watchers can be their best choice. What we all must learn is that not every diet will work for you. You have to find what your body will respond to positively.

Dieting can become overwhelming and can lead to depression, low self-esteem, and so much more. We must end the cycle of dieting and focus on being healthy at any size. Don't look at it as I need to be a size two, look at it as I need to be healthy. Develop healthy eating habits instead of yo-yo dieting. Healthy lifestyles will last longer because it's a lifestyle change not a for the moment thing.

End the battle of the diet and make peace with food. It will be very hard trust me I still have my days but the results are so worth it. Loving your body also means taking care of it. All you have to do is take it day by day and step by step. You can do it because you are strong. Your journey starts today.

Younger, Clearer, Fresher Skin: 10 Insider Secrets

1. Add antioxidants to your protection plan.
We've gotten sunscreen-savvy, but no matter how much or how often you apply, it can't protect you 100 percent. For extra defense, layer a serum that contains antioxidants (such as SkinCeuticals C E Ferulic Serum, $128, skinceuticals.com, or Philosophy When Hope Is Not Enough, $35, philosophy.com) under your sunscreen every morning, says Ranella Hirsch, MD, a cosmetic dermatologist in Cambridge, Massachusetts, and president-elect of the American Society of Cosmetic Dermatology and Aesthetic Surgery. The combination has been shown to produce significant improvement in fine lines, inflammation (think redness), and hyperpigmentation.

2. Undo sun damage -- seriously!
UV-ravaged skin can be helped with Aldara, a prescription cream that stimulates your immune system to attack the diseased cells that ultimately give rise to squamous cell carcinomas, explains Macrene Alexiades-Armenakas, MD, PhD, a clinical professor of dermatology at Yale University School of Medicine. To turn back the clock on earlier signs of damage, such as fine lines around your eyes and mouth, brown spots, and rough skin texture, use a retinoid cream, says Dr. Hirsch.

3. Try the sun-safe diet.
New research suggests that the polyphenols in brown algae may help repair sun damage -- and even prevent skin cancer -- by essentially turning off cancer genes. The study, published in the International Journal of Cancer, was done on mice, but lead researcher Gary Stoner, PhD, says he has "every reason to believe that the polyphenols would also be active in humans." To add them to your diet, order a mixed seaweed salad from your favorite Japanese restaurant (its properties remain most stable when eaten raw).

4. Brighten your eyes.
Vascular dark circles -- the kind that result from blood vessels underneath thin skin -- can be camouflaged with more than just concealer. "Restylane injections at a cosmetic dermatologist's office can help hide them," says Dr. Alexiades-Armenakas. Not one for needles? Hydrating creams and serums with water-binding ingredients, like collagen and hyaluronic acid, can temporarily plump up the skin to mask blood vessels, she adds. If puffiness is your problem, smoothing an algae mask over the area "can stimulate skin cells to eliminate excess fluid," says Jeannette Graf, MD, an assistant professor of dermatology at NYU Medical Center. (Try Osea Red Algae Mask, $36, oseamalibu.com or Astara Activated Sea Mineral Mask, $42, astaraskincare.com.)

5. Try complexion perfection combination therapy.
The newest prescription drug, Ziana, combines an exfoliating Retin-A derivative with the topical antibiotic clindamycin. The two ingredients work synergistically to deliver the most powerful skin-clearing treatment, says David E. Bank, MD, director of the Center for Dermatology, Cosmetic and Laser Surgery in Mount Kisco, New York. This double-whammy way of thinking has trickled down to drugstore products, too. Acne treatments like L'Oreal's AcneResponse Adult Acne Peel ($25, at drugstores) rely on "salicylic acid for its antibacterial effect and glycolic acid for its exfoliating effect," says Dr. Alexiades-Armenakas. "Peels don't work as well when you use only one type of acid."

6. Heal cystic acne.
Although sulfur, benzoyl peroxide, and salicylic acid can work wonders on superficial acne, big, red bumps buried deep in the skin are immune to their powers. "A warm compress is the best solution for underground pimples," says Dr. Bank. "This stimulates blood flow, which will either bring the zit to a head, allowing it to open, or speed the body's ability to heal it and reabsorb it."

7. Take skin supplements.
"I like to call beta-carotene the everyman's Accutane, since both are high in vitamin A, a super exfoliator and antioxidant that turns skin cells over rapidly," says Dr. Alexiades-Armenakas. She often prescribes 6-milligram supplements of beta-carotene to her patients who either have mild acne or who have opted out of Accutane. (Accutane isn't prescribed for women who are planning to get pregnant, or who are pregnant, because it can cause birth defects.)

8. Say goodbye to scars.
When zits finally do clear, red, irritated skin and brown spots can take their place. Apply a cream that contains nonfermented soy (such as Aveeno Positively Radiant Moisturizer with SPF 30, $14, at drugstores or Lancome Absolue Premium Bx Lotion, SPF 15, $108, lancome-usa.com). "The ingredient rapidly reduces redness," says Dr. Graf. If spots are stubborn, the VBeam laser, which targets broken capillaries, is a fast and more effective way to get the red out. At least three treatments (at about $400 each) are needed.

9. Fade freckles.
The best way to diminish brown spots, say experts, is with an ultra-gentle combination of botanical-based ingredients. Bearberry, kojic acid, licorice, and soy all have studies supporting their brightening abilities, says Dr. Bank, and they won't irritate your skin. These products work by inhibiting a pigment-producing enzyme called tyrosinase and are gentler than those containing hydroquinone, explains Dr. Graf. Try DDF Intensive Holistic Lightener, $50, sephora.com or Peter Thomas Roth Potent Botanical Skin Brightening Gel Complex, $50, beauty.com.

10. Banish little red bumps.
Treat keratosis pilaris, those ugly little red bumps on the backs of arms and thighs, with a moisturizer that contains 15 percent glycolic acid, says Dr. Bank. For the best results, choose a formula such as Glycolix Elite 15% Body Lotion, $19, dermstore.com. If you have seriously dry skin, try an emollient formula like Skin 911 Intense Body Cream, $30, skin911.com.

Article Courtesy of www.fitnessmagazine.com

5 Tips for Creating a Runway-Worthy Wardwrobe

Here are five tips for creating a runway-worthy wardrobe that is both chic and affordable.


Expand Your Horizons

No shade will be thrown here. Lane Bryant, Ashley Stewart, and my shopping heaven Torrid all have amazing and fashionable clothing options for curvy women. But, I discourage limiting clothing options strictly to these stores and others that cater specifically to us for several reasons. The foundation for fashion is individual creativity which can’t be created if you’re only selecting clothing from the Lane Bryant spring collection. Ever considered wearing a XL Forever 21 dress as a top or a XXL Old Navy dress as a tunic? You should. Don’t be deterred by a designer’s original intention. Boldness is essential to building a chic wardrobe, so channel that inner diva and waltz into a local straight size store. You’ll leave with a unique outfit and a new perspective on the limits of fashion.


Peruse the Internet

The world-wide-web is the greatest creation since…well ever, so use it! Outside of social networking and internet dating, the web should be used for online shopping. This is one of the best solutions for most of our fashion woes. Some of the greatest fashion jewels e.g. ASOS and Eloquii are solely produced online. Internet shopping allows us to see a store’s entire inventory at once. Who wouldn’t want to avoid the hassle of browsing racks in exchange for easier and savvier shopping? Oh and internet store coupons can sometimes cut the costs of shopping by 20 to 25 percent. For instance, Eloquii has a sale each week and always offer free shipping. That is unbeatable from a fashionista’s perspective.


Tailor Your Wardrobe

As I’ve followed blogger Gabi Fresh in recent months, I’ve noticed that she never allows the size on the label to deter her. She often has her clothes tailored to remove stitches; this gives her enough room to fit a size 8 shirt over her size 22 frame. I refer to this swift fashion move as the “Gabi Method” and I love it! Of course, all shirts and pants can’t be tailored and still maintain its original attractiveness, but cropped tunics and colored jeans is fabulous regardless of the season. Plus, tailored clothes seem much more polished and professional, so I encourage investing in a permanent local tailor!


Thrift Store Excursions

I am unashamed to admit that I am a thrifter. I make weekend excursions to local thrift stores and spend less than $100 on bags full of fashionable, chic, designer clothing. A vintage Chanel tote that would retail for $300 in a department store becomes mine for less than $20 and those popular lace blouses from the ‘80s that have resurfaced don’t leave a dent in my bank account. Don’t have too much pride. Thrift. You’ll find adorable pieces that are one-of-a-kind and save a few dollars. A win-win.


Confidence, Confidence, Confidence!

Despite what fashion blogs tell us, large rings and fierce wedges are not the perfect accessories to an outfit; confidence is. Regardless of what dress we’re strutting in, confidence is infectious. You want to command attention when walking into a room and that comes with how we wear our clothes rather than what we’re wearing. Be confident and the rest will align on its own.




Happy shopping!

Article courtesy of www.fullfiguredmag.com

The Battle of Weight Loss

As many of you know I have been battling the scale. Although I am not trying to reach a specific weight I get frustrated about many things. I know what needs to be done and what I am not able to do at this time BUT I am not letting it take over my life.

Just about everyone in America is trying to reach a certain weight goal and companies are making a killing off of it. I am not pushing anyone to lose weight, I want all of you who are on similar journeys to not let it take over your life. We can become so obsessed over our weight we don't take the time to focus on everything else.

We are worth far more than our weight and you have to believe that. Loving yourself first will help you get through your journey happier than if you didn't love your body. Its normal to have down moments or days about your weight. When those moments happen you have to turn it in to motivation to keep going. It will be a hard journey. Trust me I know I was able to drop 60 pounds and gain it all back with my twin pregnancy. Now I am having the hardest time but I must remember times are different. I have three children now instead of one and I no longer have their dad around to keep them busy when I want to work out.

I am going through trial and error of what works for me and boy is it tough, but I don't allow myself to become overwhelmed. I take it day by day and you have to too. No matter what your current situation you will get through it. Remember you are worth far more than your weight and your happiness does not depends on your waist line. Stay strong ladies.

Young girls and body image

There’s no denying that our culture and the media are obsessed with women’s looks and if you open any fashion magazine or watch a music video you’ll know that the media is not kind to our girls.

We need to armour our girls and protect them from the unrealistic expectations and unattainable ideals of beauty.

When children feel good about themselves they are better equipped to resist negative pressures and have an easier time handling conflict. So what can we do to help them?

• Be mindful of your language – if you spend time critiquing yourself and your own body (and others) your daughter is going to be influenced by what you say and negative diet talk or judging others will become part of her language and vocabulary
• Place less emphasis on how she looks and more importance on all of her skills and talents. Complement your daughter on her thoughtfulness, kindness, determination, patience, or how she is talented at her chosen sports or other activities.
• Ban diet talk – remove talk about diet tips, calorie counting and restricting foods from your language and instead focus on health. As an example remove the term bad and good foods from your language and focus on how foods can have an effect on the way you feel.
• Role models – share with your children who your roles models are and why. Ensure the list doesn’t include Elle McPherson because she’s a “hotty” or Ryan Gosling because he adorns killer abs! I’m talking Oprah Winfrey because she had a very troubled childhood and was determined and relentless in her vision to change and make the world a better place. Nick Vujicic (motivational speaker and the man with no limbs) because even though the cards he was dealt were unspeakably challenging he has made the most of what he was given and is living a life of inspiration.

You will be teaching your children that value is placed on what you do with your life rather than what you look like.

Article courtesy of http://bodyimagemovement.com.au

Look of The Week

 

In the spirit of Valentine's Day I wanted to post a sexy little number. Don't worry if you don't have any plans because this look is great for any occasion. Animal print has always been in style and I paired it with a straps style sandal that will make those legs look longer. I hope you enjoy.

 

 

Leopard Billion Dollar Baby Dress from Torrid at $120.50

Colorblocked Faux Leather Sandals from Forever21 at $26.80

New Look Parker Envelope Clutch from Asos at $28.05 (yes that's 5 cents lol) 

They Mean Well But........

So I made a promise to myself that if I eat healthy without cheating on any meals for four weeks I will reward myself by buying a pair of shoes without looking at the price tag. I think this will be great motivation as I am a very frugal shopper. I shared this with someone close to me and although they were happy for me they also said they will treat me to my favorite dessert after the four weeks. It actually made me more upset than excited.

I knew that he meant well and he didn't understand why that made me upset. I had to explain to him that my rewards will not be foods I am trying to stay away from. There are healthier options out there. We went back and forth for a bit because he didn't see the problem. He also doesn't have weight issues so he will never understand what I go through. I know there are many people who go through the same issue.

You have a friend or family member that means well but are going about it totally wrong. It can be very hard for them to understand where you are coming from. Until they walk in your shoes they will never understand. The important thing is to talk to them about it. They have to learn about your needs and wants. No one is a mind reader and you can't expect them to be. You have to get to a mutual understanding so they will no longer try to influence you negatively. Don't think that they are mean you have to understand that they just don't understand. It will get better stay strong.

The Topic We Will Never Agree On

A doctor recently made headlines about how she feels about Gov. Chris Christie being too over weight to become president. She thinks that he will die in office due to health conditions he will get. Now he doesn't have any known health conditions but because he is obese he has to get something ...right.

This brings up that debate that will never go away. Simply because you are overweight you will eventually get a variety of health conditions, but that is not entirely true. Yes being overweight can cause certain health issues....BUT.... not everyone will get them. To assume that all "fat" people will develop diabetes, high blood pressure, have a heart attack and many other conditions is ridiculous.

We run the same risk of health conditions that skinny people have. Just because your body is low on the BMI scale does not equal healthy. I hear it all the time about how I need to lose weight or that the things that happen to me is because of my weight. Nine years ago I had to get my gal bladder removed and everyone said it was because I was over weight, but that next year a close friend of mine, who is an athlete, had hers removed. She didn't get the same backlash that I did and hers must just be a fluke that happened.

We will never agree on weight and health. What I think is the biggest factor is the lifestyle you live. I know no matter how healthy you can be there are always some things that can happen but if you live a healthy life style you can lower your risk. I am in the process of losing weight but not to be skinny but to be healthy. That is what we strive for.........HEALTH AT EVERY SIZE.

Weight “no big deal” in these fitness studios

At first glance it could be any studio. The women, dressed in colourful outfits, pile into the bright space, then stretch and bend under the watchful eye of a yoga instructor.

But eventually you can’t help but notice.
 

First — all the participants carry a few extra pounds.
 

Second — not one of them seem to give a fig.
 

And that’s exactly the point at this plus-size friendly gym.
 

In these times of chiseled torsos and size-zero envy, FitZonePlus – which bills itself as “fitness for the rest of us” – offers a non-judgmental, encouraging environment.
 

It’s the brainchild of Suzanne Gracan, 44, who created it in response to her own frustrations with the fitness industry.
 

After a serious fall immobilized her in 2001, she realized that her weight - 360 lb.- was a serious health risk.
 

She joined various yoga clubs but felt discouraged by the instructors.
 

“It was like ‘oh crap — what am I going to do with her,’” she said. “Or it was ‘oh well … just do your best.’ It was just so humiliating.”
 

To escape the “attitude,” Gracan hired her own instructor in 2002 and together they developed a program geared toward heavier women.
 

It developed a following, and in January, Gracan put aside a career in sales, marketing and administration to develop FitZonePlus.
 

The doors opened last March, with the studio, at Bathurst and Bloor Sts., offering yoga and Zumba classes.
 

“It’s a wonderful non-judgmental space where everyone is welcome,” says Gracan, who now weighs 219 lb. “Everybody feels comfortable, we relax, we have fun, there’s no stress and people get a chance to get healthy.”
 

And Gracan isn’t the only one targeting this demographic.
 

Toronto’s Tiina Veer, a registered yoga teacher, runs Yoga for Round Bodies and yoga teacher training out of the Halcyon Health wellness centre in Toronto.
 

She has been teaching since 2004 and agrees there’s a “size stigma” in our society and that often “women are the harshest judges of each other.”
 

She says she offers a non-judgmental, non-competitive environment, saving her strongest condemnations for instructors who aren’t adequately trained to help heavier women.

Continue Reading here

Article courtesy of www.thestar.com

There's Nothing Like A Dressing Room Meltdown

Nothing like have a moment in the dressing room right?

Any woman with curves face many obstacles when trying to find the right attire to fit perfectly. It can definitely become frustrating and I am not immune to having them either. What we need to do after the meltdown is how we recover from it.When we become frustrated, upset, emotional or even angry its time to then evaluate the situation.

First we need to understand if the store carries clothes to fit our body types. Not all body types are created equal. Knowing your body type can help you pick out appropriate and flattering items. Some stores clothes are not American cut and you may need to adjust the size you select, i.e. go up a size. If that doesn't help then the store is not for you. Of course, we would love to shop where slimmer girls do but some times it's just not meant to be.

Second, not all looks are flattering on your body. There are amazing styles out there but we cant wear all of them, even if we are in love with it. Its nothing worse than seeing someone squeezing into something or seeing them with an outfit that makes them look a mess. We need to wear something we love but also we have to understand what we look good in.

Lastly, what do you wear that makes you fell good about yourself and confident? How we feel in what we wear is what determines our moods and attitudes. Learning how to dress appropriately can help build your confidence and self-esteem. So with that being said, learn what you should wear before buying clothes. It could avoid meltdowns in the dressing room and help you build you confidence.

Peace & Love

Embrace a Healthy Lifestyle the Same Way You Embrace Fashion

It has been a long time since I have done a post about adopting a healthy lifestyle. I am not trying to tell you to lose weight or anything in that nature. I want us all to be aware and educated on how much a healthier lifestyle can help us.

If we aren’t taking good care of ourselves, our bodies and our well-being will suffer. Even if you’re the rail thin girl with the hyperactive metabolism, you can get struck down by high-blood pressure if your diet isn’t right. If you are an adult, you must accept your responsibility in keeping your temple in order. Peep our good health checklist and have an honest conversation with yourself about how you are living.

• Exercise: We all aren’t meant to live in the gym; many of us lack the time and/or the drive to get Michelle Obama arm cuts. However, everyone needs to get physical activity into their daily routine. Walk ten minutes to the train instead of taking the bus there. Sign up for the lunch-time cardio class at work. If you hate working out in public, there are endless workout DVDs you can cop for the house and they cater to every fitness level imaginable. You can even find exercise videos on YouTube for free99! Spend thirty minutes each day dancing to your favorite music. Move your body, Clutchettes! She deserves it!

• Diet: Are you eating right? Remember: eating little is not always eating well. Skipping meals is a good way to cost yourself much needed nutrients and to even keep extra pounds on your frame. Taking on a restrictive diet, such as vegetarianism, without doing your research about what sort of foods you need to eat to get your daily requirements of nutrients, fats, fiber, etc. is another good way to jack up your body’s motions. Talk to a doctor about what your eating should look like and if you can’t, do your research on a balanced diet and what your personal nutrition intake should look like.

• Water: H20 gets it’s own heading because so many of us aren’t taking in enough each day. While scientists are largely split on how much we need (some say eight cups a day; other suggest one ounce per pound of body weight), the consensus is that you need to be drinking it often. Sugary drinks and chemical laden sodas can wreak havoc on your body; replace as many of them as you can with a tall glass of water, which flushes out toxins and keeps your body hydrated.

• Vitamins: Are you taking your supplements or checking the foods you eat to see what you are getting from them? Did you know that vitamin C can increase the amount of fat you burn when you work out? Or that biotin is fab for hair growth? Are you aware of how B-12 can help your energy levels? Get cozy with the dude at GNC and step your healthy up.

• Sleep: Yeah, we know…’they sleep, we grind’ is the motto of many. But if you don’t get enough rest, you will find your empire building to be a bit more challenging. Unsightly dark circles aren’t the only burden of a sleep-deprived lifestyle; you may also be dealing with fatigue and irritability that are making your proverbial grind much more difficult than it should be. You don’t have to be at every happy hour this week. Go to bed, girl!

• Emotional Needs: Are you taking on your issues head on and talking about them? Or are you putting school/career/family and everything else before your sanity? Do you have someone to talk to when things are rough? By failing to confront your fears, pains, struggles and traumas, you can literally be making yourself sick. Skip the ‘strong Black woman’ BS and attend to YOU.

Courtesy of www.frugivoremag.com

Sabotaging Your Relationships

Since I am newly single I am excited to go on a new journey of dating and hopefully finding "The One". This got me thinking about a time when I was so worried if a guy would like me even though I'm fat. What would I have to change or do to make him like me? Will I have to do something I don't want to do to keep him? and so on. Through my years of finding myself I can say I have grown on what I will accept as a mate and what I will do to please him without losing myself in the process.

I think it gets easier to date when you build confidence. Being confident with who you are will lead to how you will act in the dating world. Low self-esteem and confidence usually will land you in a unhappy relationship or alone. If you do things like avoiding social settings, introducing yourself to new people, dressing for the occasion or even turning men away that are interested, these are signs you need to work on your confidence and self-esteem and goes way beyond being shy.

Men can also see lack of confidence in a woman. I hear men saying there's nothing sexier than the confidence in a woman and when its lacking it's definitely a turn off. Why get in your own way when finding love. If you are confident in yourself the men will be confident in you too. So what you are fat, who cares??????? If a man truly love you, he will accept you for you and wouldn't want you to compromise who you are as a woman to make him happy. Embrace your body, be you and be fabulous.

It took me years to build the confidence I have and there isn't anything or anyone that can break it. I have not met a man that didn't love how confident I was. My motto is "I can get in line with the best of them." Being over weight has no limitations. I was the largest one in my dance group back in college but my weight never stopped me from learning and performing almost every dance.

Don't get in your way of finding love. How can a man love you if you don't love yourself. Confidence is key. It may take time but just know with confidence and a high self-esteem comes with a happier you.

Don't Forget About Yourself Ladies

We cannot forget about ourselves ladies. We constantly put ourselves on the back burner to make sure everyone else is ok. I find myself being too tired to put hot looks together, making sure my hair looks great and just being happy with my appearance when I walk out the door. I find that when I feel good about my appearance that I feel good throughout the day. Here's a few things I've done to spruce things up a bit.

Clothing

Make sure you wear clothes that make me feel good. You should feel sexy even if it is just jeans and a t-shirt. Try adding different accessories. You don't have to buy a new wardrobe just add things to what you already have.

Make Up

If you never wear make up start off slow. Do a colored lip gloss and gradually add other items. I am very new to make up and I am already in love with it. I only do my eyes and lips (I don't feel I need foundation). When I wear make up I cant stop looking in the mirror lol.

Hair

Try a different hair style than you always wear and you don't have to go to a salon to get a new do. Usually I keep my hair straight, but lately I have been rocking curls. After I permed my hair I put it in rollers to get an initial curl going. Now I do pin curls every night to keep my curls.

Nails

Keep your nails looking nice. You don't have to go to a nail salon to have nice nails. I have fallen in love with nail polish. I make sure I paint my nails (fingers and toes). I also love to play around with my designs.

All of these things have me walking out the door feeling like a million bucks. I can't stop smiling and the compliments I have been receiving has been amazing. These are simple things you can do to put a little pep in your step. Trying different things can bring out the best in you. Start slowly if you are hesitant. You never know it might give you the confidence you never had.

Peace & Love