In a culture that encourages women to engage in trash talk about their own
bodies, in which
body
confidence is an act of bravery, it can be daunting to consider broadcasting
pride in your own physical form. But you CAN do it, even in the face of an
oppressive environment, reluctant peers, and your own hesitation. I swear! It’s
true! Because broadcasting body confidence doesn’t have to mean wearing an “I
Love My Body” tee shirt or responding to every compliment by say, “Oh, I know.”
There are a million tiny ways that you can tell the world you love your body,
just as it is. And in doing so, you may just encourage other women to follow
suit.
Watch your posture Posture and pride are visually
linked, no question about it, and walking tall is the simplest, quickest way to
show anyone who observes you that you are confident and self-assured. Of course,
good posture can convey pride about any number of personal traits, many of them
non-physical. But it stands to reason that being mindful of your body‘s position
as a means of expressing self-confidence will be linked, at least in part, with
valuing that same body.
Smile Body confidence can certainly
be of the fierce, aggressive sort, but my experience leads me to believe that
most folks who’ve accumulated some self-love feel serene and grateful. Smiling
at others shows them that serenity and gratitude. Sure, it’s incredibly indirect
and the vast majority of onlookers won’t immediately think, “That woman must be
smiling because she loves her body!” And yet those who are locked in constant
battle with self-loathing seldom smile directly at others and may feel less
inclined to smile overall. Some days suck and some people piss us off, so I’m
not advocating big, fake smiles 24/7. Just consider the powerful messages of
calm confidence that are broadcast in a simple smile.
Give compliments
What now? You’re asking how telling OTHERS that they look fabulous will
prove that you feel fabulous yourself? Well, I’ll tell ya. Jealousy is often
borne of a fear of shortage: You envy what someone else has because hey, if
they’ve got it, how could there possibly be enough to go around? By showing your
lack of jealousy, you exude self-confidence. Indirectly, you’re saying, “I’m
genuinely happy for you! Also, not threatened because I’m aware of my own
self-worth!” Giving compliments not only spreads good karma and boosts the
self-confidence of others, but it shows observers that your generosity of spirit
stems from personal pride.
Accept – and append – compliments
This is a more advanced technique, but I’m throwing it out there
regardless. When someone compliments you, do NOT deflect. At the very least,
respond with a heartfelt, “Thanks!” And once you’re feeling a bit bolder, try
appending your responses. If a friend tells you she likes your dress, say,
“Thanks! I just adore how it makes my legs look.” If a peer tells you she loves
your shoes, say, “Oh thanks, lady! I feel so gorgeous and powerful in these …
like I could take over the world!” If a friend tells you your hair looks
amazing, say, “You are so sweet! I feel like my hair is one of my best features.
Thanks for noticing!”
Don’t engage in body bashing We women
spend a lot of time and energy talking about how much we wish our acne would
clear up, our upper arms would get firmer, our wrinkles would vanish. In this
day and age, we do it without thinking. Those thoughts, emotions, and words flow
forth from us like breaths the moment we’re among friendly comrades. But it
doesn’t have to be that way.
One of the best ways to curb trash talk is
to have some sit-down talks with your closest friends and tell them you want it
to stop. It may be most effective to couch it all in terms of your own feelings:
“I worry about how it affects us,” or “I feel like this kind of talk erodes my
self-confidence,” or “I’m just exhausted by going over these issues so
constantly.” Start issuing moratoriums on body bashing when you gather with your
besties.
If that’s not possible, work on your traffic cop skills:
Re-route the conversation whenever it turns to negative body talk. “Girls, do we
REALLY need to go there? No, we don’t. Let me tell you about the movie I saw
last night …” Or just, “Blah, blah, whatever. Hey, did you hear about the new
Mexican restaurant that just opened?”
And, perhaps most importantly,
don’t take the bait. As difficult as it will be, do not cave and bash your own
body when you get verbally set up to do so. You know the drill. Your girlfriend
says, “Ugh, I feel so fat and gross. If only I had thin calves like yours.” And
you’re supposed to say, “No way! I hate my calves. I wish I had your gorgeous
hair …” Yes, there are some compliments floating around in there, but they’re
encased in sentiments of self-loathing and jealousy. Not good. When your buddy
starts the ball rolling, be blunt. Say, “Stop. We’re both gorgeous, luminous,
worthy women. Just look at us!” And move the conversation onward and upward.
Dress confidently This will mean something different to each
of you, but regardless of how it manifests it is definitely a best practice. As
always, this is no mandate: Some days require hide-inside clothes, comfy
clothes, or no clothes at all. But as often as you can, dress in clothing that
makes you feel amazing. Colors that bring out the highlights in your hair,
styles that highlight what YOU love best about your figure, shoes that make you
walk proudly and confidently. The clothing we wear can be a powerful tool for
broadcasting body confidence.
You won’t love your body every single
day. You won’t have the confidence and energy to engage all of these tactics
every single day. But if you can try them out even a few times a week, they will
make a difference. They will build upon themselves and help you nurture that
vital seed of body confidence into a gorgeous bloom, and they will subtly show
your peers that self-worth isn’t threatening or conceited or abnormal.
Do
what you can to broadcast body confidence, and you’ll be helping yourself while
helping others; The best kind of goodwill you can possibly spread.
How do
you show the world that you love your body?
Courtesy of www.yesandyes.org
